Dear Grief,

Dear Grief,

Here you are again, for the third time in my life.

Twice in one year, the third time in 14 months.

One side suffers the loss of a Dad, a Grandad, and a Great Grandad.

The other: a Son, a Brother, a Nephew, a Cousin.

And here I am grieving both.

What a strange thing you are,

You come and go, your brief absence makes the world seem normal again

then; without warning you swallow me whole and freeze me.

On the floor I dropped and on the phone I cried.

The strangest situations they’ve been,

The most obscure and unexpected, yet it’s happened, and all’s distorted.

Yet I can’t just sit there,

I can’t hide,

I can’t think about it for longer than 5 minutes.

Both times I’ve gone out and drank.

Not to hide the sorrow,

But to talk, laugh, and know that there is happiness,

Then the quilt overwhelms me “I shouldn’t be out, I should be in bed.”

When really all I can do is write,

Trying linguistically to communicate how I feel.

To say I am ok, that I will be ok.

You’re a part of life, but a shit one at that.

Yours Lauren.